Time-frequency based methods, particularly quadratic (Cohen's-class) representations, are often considered for detection in applications ranging from sonar to machine monitoring. We propose a method of obtaining near-optimal quadratic detectors directly from training data using Fisher's optimal linear discriminant to design a quadratic detector. This detector is optimal in terms of Fisher's scatter criterion as applied to the quadratic outer product of the data vector, and in early simulations appears to closely approximate the true optimal quadratic detector. By relating this quadratic detector to an equivalent operation on the Wigner distribution of a signal, we derive near-optimal time-frequency detectors. A simple example demonstrates the excellent performance of the method.