coe158_bye-to-2018.mp3 Speaker1: [00:00:24] All right, welcome back, everyone, thanks for patiently waiting for us. We had a brief intermission there. We took took a few days off for the holiday break and we're back at you now. Simone Howard Dominic Boyer Cultures of Energy Podcast With our end of the year end of 2018 Special Podcast Edition, which includes Speaker2: [00:00:44] The Speaker3: [00:00:44] Beginning of 2019 Speaker1: [00:00:45] Three Speaker2: [00:00:46] Segments which Speaker3: [00:00:46] Is on the cusp. Oh yeah, we're doing in three parts and three movements three movements. Speaker1: [00:00:51] First movement is you pick them 70. Do you want to do resolutions first or do you want to do a urine review? Speaker3: [00:00:57] First, we're going to do. I think we're going to do the news, the news items that you might have missed in twenty eighteen. And then we'll turn to the so-called New Year's resolutions, Speaker2: [00:01:08] The promises made to ourselves, what you Speaker3: [00:01:11] Just called the new New Year promises. Speaker2: [00:01:14] Another thing I'm going to disclose, but it's really OK. Speaker3: [00:01:16] We can talk about the problematic category of resolutions when we get to that. But yeah, OK. And then after that, after that, movement number three Speaker2: [00:01:25] Will be Speaker3: [00:01:26] A fine educated riff on a very interesting Finnish film called Rare Exports. That's right, which has the rare and peculiar quality of being kind of a climate change film, but mostly a horror comedy for Christmas. That's right, a Christmas horror comedy, which actually is a really apropos kind of category, and I'm surprised there's not a bigger genre out there of like bloody, terrifying Christmas stories. Speaker2: [00:01:54] There've been a Speaker1: [00:01:55] Couple others like that movie Krampus that came out. Speaker2: [00:01:57] I never there. Speaker1: [00:01:59] There's some more purely like holiday ones, though, that are, I mean, horror ones that are kind of holiday themed. Ok, but if you recall from last episode, folks, what we had set ourselves, the task of or the question we had dangled for ourselves was is it possible to find a Christmas movie that somehow themed ties is climate change? And that led us on a substantial internet search that resulted in only really two potential films. There's one film that goes by the nickname Christmas Twister, which I don't even think is its real name, but that's what people call it, which was a low budget rip off of the movie Twister about kind of a storm wreaking havoc in Texas that I guess had some kind of light climate change connection to it. But it sounded pretty terrible. So we skipped that one and we went for this finished movie, which sounded a lot more interesting instead. Speaker3: [00:02:46] Well, this is much this is good, too, because our last movie? Oh no, actually, our last movie review was was pretty arty. Speaker2: [00:02:53] Sleep dealer, sleep dealer. Speaker3: [00:02:54] But before that, we did a pretty trashy film anyway. Speaker1: [00:02:57] So we'll get to that in a second, folks. Let's do it. Let's do our first two movements first and then we'll take a break. Speaker2: [00:03:01] So you might have missed Speaker1: [00:03:02] News you might have missed there. I thought this here instead of kind of going deeply into stories, it wasn't a tremendously eventful year for energy. Actually, most of the news, at least coming out of the United States was pretty bad. It's mostly about the EPA's cutbacks on like, you know, emissions and trying to prop up coal. And probably the biggest story of that vein, but the one that seems to deserve some attention was actually both. The stories come from February of this year, so February 2018 had two worthwhile stories. The first one is kind of more hopeful, so I'll save that, and this one is the one that's kind of more sad. And that is that the United States broke its previous production record for oil set in 1970. Hmm. Now it actually happened in late 2017, but it only was reported in twenty eighteen. So I'm counting. That is a twenty eighteen news story. Speaker3: [00:03:57] So that's for crude. That's right. Liquid natural gas, that's not LNG. Speaker1: [00:04:01] I mean, I didn't look at that, but I'm sure that that also has broken its previous record. So this is yeah, but this is for this is for oil. And if you recall, a lot of the peak oil hypothesis was based on what's called Hubbard's Peak, which peaked in November 1970, which was the last time the U.S. produced nearly this much oil. But because of hydraulic fracturing, because of horizontal drilling, because of the massive development of the frack plays and the Permian basement and the eagle Ford and elsewhere in the South Dakota, the Bakken, we've got, you know, now not only have we have we surpassed the November 1970 level, but we're headed towards, you know, 11 I guess, million barrels or a billion barrels of oil a day. Wait a second, let me just check Speaker3: [00:04:47] In security called it the Permian basement. Speaker2: [00:04:49] I didn't call it the Permian. Speaker3: [00:04:51] You definitely did. You know, what's so great is that it's actually recorded. So I'm just going to be instead of being helpful. I'm just going to be annoying Speaker2: [00:04:59] And like, point out Little Mississippi, Speaker1: [00:05:01] Ok, OK. We're headed towards 11 million barrels per day by the end of this year. Speaker2: [00:05:05] Wow. Speaker3: [00:05:05] So that's what I call a shit Speaker2: [00:05:07] Ton of oil is sold Speaker1: [00:05:08] Out. So in other words, peak oil is over officially, and it will not save us from weaning ourselves off an oil the country. That's the bad news now. Do you want to hear the good news or do you want to comment on the bad news for Cindy? Speaker2: [00:05:20] I. Speaker3: [00:05:21] No, I don't think there's much to say about that, except that the sad story being that once they drag that stuff up out of the ground, they certainly want to burn it. So it's too bad that it's been extracted because that means it's pretty much guaranteed to get burned up, which is not what we need. Speaker1: [00:05:37] It's not. Thank you. So also from February 2018. Here is the more hopeful story. It's going to seem a little wonky, but I think it is an important story. What is the phrase order? 8:41 Say to you so many. How? Order eight forty one. Speaker3: [00:05:54] I have Speaker2: [00:05:54] No idea. Probably nothing. Speaker1: [00:05:56] I give up. It says nothing to me, either. The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, the FERC this February unanimously approved an order that could be a landmark in the development of energy storage. Speaker2: [00:06:09] Oh, OK. Oh, that's Speaker1: [00:06:10] Good. So what it what it directs? I'm just going to read here from the news story and utility dive. It directs operators, a wholesale markets, regional transmission organizations and independent system operators to come up with market rules for energy storage, to participate in the wholesale energy capacity, ancillary services markets that recognize the physical and operational characteristics of the resource. So why this matters? Up until now, there's never really been any federal push to bring energy storage into the mix for grid operators. So if you are somebody who believes in grid and cherishes grid as many people do, it has never had a real mandate to bring energy storage capacity into its mix of power supply. And what states that are ahead of the curve like California are discovering, is that actually, you know, renewables and storage together can be more effective and less costly than natural gas. So in terms of decarbonising the grid, it's actually a really big step forward and this happened again under the auspices of the Trump administration. It happened at a time when, you know, obviously the administration is fighting to kind of decarbonise the economy as much as possible. Speaker3: [00:07:19] So how did this get created then? Speaker1: [00:07:21] Because the FERC are basically a technocratic body and they decided they Speaker2: [00:07:25] Want to sell it. Speaker1: [00:07:26] So, yeah, so what it means is that in other words, everyone who operates grids across the country are going to have to start, you know, creating storage capacity. So that's good. So that's a good thing. And that storage capacity will help advance renewables pretty dramatically, people say. Speaker2: [00:07:41] Right. So there you go. That's a that's a moment of hope. Yeah, OK. Those are very Speaker1: [00:07:44] That's a those are two American energy policy story or energy phenomena that I thought were worth calling out this year, right? We won't get into the general political news. I think we've covered that Speaker2: [00:07:55] Adequately, right? Right. Is there Speaker3: [00:07:57] Any headlines? I think people are pretty. Speaker1: [00:07:58] Is there anything else that personally is going to stick with you so many, how from twenty eighteen that you want to, you know, want to share with folks? Oh God, any personal triumphs? I heard you finished a book this year. Speaker3: [00:08:09] Oh, right, that happens. God, it was in process so long. I've forgotten it even got completed this year. Uh-huh. Speaker2: [00:08:14] Yeah, get your book out. Uh huh. Well, so did you. I know. Well, it's not out. Speaker3: [00:08:20] It's not going to be out for another, what, six months? Speaker1: [00:08:23] That'll be part of our 2019 your review. Speaker2: [00:08:26] I mean, that's one of the the Speaker3: [00:08:28] Painful tomes of book producing is they they take a long time to research, but that's sort of the fun part. And then there's the writing, which some people will say is fun and some parts of it are. But a lot of it is kind of drudgery and it takes a really long time and there's a lot of details and there's footnotes and there's references and it's just it's a slog. And then and then you finish it and then you send it in and then it gets reviewed and then you redo and then you send it back. And then it's just kind of a waiting game. Speaker2: [00:08:54] You're making it sound pretty exciting. Well, I Speaker3: [00:08:58] Mean, OK, I will say this. It's an honor to be able to write, Speaker2: [00:09:01] Yes, a book, you know. I mean, what a privilege. A privilege, a privilege. Speaker1: [00:09:06] I didn't say Permian basement. Yeah, sure. Speaker3: [00:09:08] You so OK. Do not erase it. All right. Listeners can understand. And listeners, for those of you who have ever spent any time with someone, which is all of us who sometimes misspeak, like sometimes you put the wrong participle or I don't know the vowel get screwed up or whatever. Like everyone misspeaks every once in a while. Yeah, but certain people, I'm not naming names. Certain people just can't believe that they ever misspeak. And you and you're like, You just said, blah, whatever it might be. And then they're like, No, I didn't. And you're like, Yes, you did. No, I didn't. And then it's just a back and forth of it's just it's a debate, but it's rarely recorded. And here here we're actually recording. Speaker2: [00:09:53] All right. So that's what that's the Speaker3: [00:09:54] Beauty of it, because you said Permian basement and it's recorded. And so this is interesting. This is the Speaker2: [00:10:00] One that will tell the truth. Speaker3: [00:10:02] This is yeah, this is the one rare bird example of actually recording someone this big on tape where they can actually hear it back all those times. Speaker2: [00:10:11] You wished you had a tape? Yes. Speaker3: [00:10:14] All right. I don't know. I hadn't really thought about my things for twenty eighteen. You know what I used to do instead of doing New Year's resolutions, i. You suspend like the first part of New Year's Eve, like, you know, start at eight o'clock or so, go and hive myself off someplace and actually kind of walk through the whole year and write things down. Speaker2: [00:10:31] And that's a nice thing. Yeah, it Speaker3: [00:10:34] Was pretty nice, you know, and I would try and remember back like, I'd scroll back in my mind, OK, what was I doing in January of next year and think about, you know, what I was doing, who I was hanging out with and just sort of try to remember the year and go back through it and write down a few things, maybe from each month along the way. Speaker2: [00:10:52] So that was your diary, sort of Speaker3: [00:10:54] Like an end of year chronicle and journal, but I haven't done that in a long time. I guess now we're more in the future, a logical project of talking about New Year's Speaker2: [00:11:03] Resolutions, which Speaker3: [00:11:05] Is more conventional. And so in some ways, I kind of hate it. Yeah, but it also always feels as though if you come up like if you have to make a resolution that it was never something that was meant to be, but I realized that there's that's not logical. Speaker1: [00:11:19] Well, the only reason I'm into it this year is because I actually was able to keep yes with some help from my partner, but I was able to keep my resolutions from last year. So I'm pretty psyched because this would be like the first year I could go. I could go two for two. I could build on that momentum and I could do it again. So but anyway, that's me. Speaker2: [00:11:37] All right. What about you? Let's hear yours now. Speaker1: [00:11:39] I want to hear yours. Speaker3: [00:11:40] Now you start or you do one anyway. How many do you have? Speaker1: [00:11:44] I'm not sure how many. Well, basically the big one, I think, is to try to de-stress in the coming year because not only has it been like two incredibly stressful years of living in a wannabe fascist regime here and all of the all of just all the kind of day to day anxiety that that's involved and and also extra work. But just, you know, for us at the end of five years of editing a journal and getting these book projects out Speaker2: [00:12:15] Right Speaker1: [00:12:16] And our center, you know, working really hard in the center that in produces this podcast, all of that has been a lot. And I feel like I think that that should be the number one commitment should be to seek a slightly better mix between work and life and to de-stress. And I have a I have a core or like a smaller, additional specific part of that. One idea I've had, which I will mention on this podcast because this is the podcast that told you about goat yoga. I thought maybe I should try to overcome some of the heebie jeebies that yoga gives me. Speaker2: [00:12:48] Oh my God. Some of the heebie jeebies. Oh my God. Speaker1: [00:12:51] And not necessarily do yoga, but maybe look for some kind of a yogic thing to do. Oh, that would be relaxing and I would enjoy. And so I'm going to try to make that. One of my resolutions for 2019 is to find a yoga class that I can participate in. Speaker3: [00:13:08] All right. You know, what's so funny is that you and I haven't even talked about these resolutions, but my I'm not going to say is my number one, but one of my resolutions was returned to yoga. Speaker2: [00:13:17] Really? Yes. Am I good for that? Speaker3: [00:13:19] Very for that very reason. Like, I feel I've been working too hard. Is that possible? I don't know. Speaker2: [00:13:26] I may have been. I know. Speaker3: [00:13:27] Ok, I guess it is possible, you know, just like too too much our too many hours dedicated to pretty raw work stuff. Not that it's not. It's it's all important. It's important stuff to do. And I think I've been working pretty smart rather than, you know, what do they say, work smart. Not hard or something long? I don't know. Speaker2: [00:13:48] I feel like I'm not stupid. Speaker3: [00:13:49] I don't know. There's some ridiculous corporate expression around that. But yes, anyway, return to yoga because I used to be quite the Eugeni a long time ago. It's been a Speaker2: [00:13:59] While. Speaker1: [00:14:00] Is that the term yoga? Hmm. Yeah. These are the kinds of reasons why I found it hard to be part of. Speaker2: [00:14:05] Ok, I don't want to have to describe myself as a yoga. Speaker3: [00:14:07] Once you get, once you get in touch with your sits bones. Speaker2: [00:14:12] I hate that term. Speaker1: [00:14:13] That's another term. I don't. Speaker2: [00:14:14] Here are some things I don't like about you. I don't like the bell he hates. I don't like the word. You don't like the bell. That's the bell. Speaker1: [00:14:21] I've always it feels very affected. It feels like an affectation to me. Speaker3: [00:14:25] If you can't like the bell, then I don't think you can do yoga because you have to be able to sort of tune in to that. What about if you go to a class where they do the ohms, then what are you going to do? Speaker2: [00:14:33] I said, I like the arms either. Speaker1: [00:14:34] Or is it just that part of it feels to me like really like appropriated and and fake? I don't know. Like, I think it's I'm into the part of it that's about like relaxation and really good exercises that are that make your body feel better. And I feel like a lot of the a lot of the workout, a lot of the physical activity that I do is not really so good for my body. I broke my foot this year and I'm reflecting on that and saying I maybe I need to find like lower impact ways to exercise and do wellness. Speaker3: [00:15:03] Yeah, I mean, actually, they do. I mean, some of that, like, I'm not sure about yoga, but I know tai chi, for example, they actually consider weightlifting to be antithetical to your quote unquote progress in tai chi. Sure, that there are different forms of moving your body and they're actually a countervailing. So I'm not sure if that's true with yoga, either. No, I'm trying to think the last time I did yoga was when we were in Oaxaca, so it's been God, it's been like five or six years. Fuck, it's been the whole time of the journal. Speaker1: [00:15:32] That's well. See, that's the thing is, that's interesting. I feel like the journal has been a great experience, but also not the best thing for me physically. So that's what I'm trying. I come back and and go into 2019 in a new lifestyle like just trying to like just to try to like, live a little bit smarter. I guess it's all good. That's my main. Oh, what's yours? Speaker2: [00:15:52] All right. So yoga is one of my maternity. Speaker3: [00:15:54] Yoga is was it's pretty basic, and I recognize this very normative. This one's fairly normative, too. But this also fits in with the what what you call the Work-Life Balance. I also don't like that that term, but that's kind of what it is. I guess that is to send spend more time with the Speaker2: [00:16:11] Child Speaker1: [00:16:11] Nice Speaker3: [00:16:12] Because she's going to be 10 to Speaker1: [00:16:14] Me, 10 Speaker3: [00:16:15] And as she is already sort of, you know, getting all woeful about Speaker2: [00:16:18] She was like, Oh, would it be double digits? And I want to stay nine like I don't want to. Speaker3: [00:16:23] And it's funny because I remember weirdly kind of freaking out about turning to double digits to when I was 10. And I don't know why. I don't think anyone fed me that line, and I certainly have never said anything to her like, Oh my God, you're getting so old. Speaker2: [00:16:37] Oh my God, you're so old. Speaker1: [00:16:38] Like, you just kind of like every night you're like, God, you're getting old. Speaker3: [00:16:41] Yeah, she recognizes that there's a transition happening, going from childhood to becoming right. Speaker1: [00:16:46] And this is kind of like this in nine 10 is like one of those great ages, right? It's one. It's one of the best times of childhood because they are really their own people. They're they're smart, they have things to say, they have their creative, they have things to share, but they're not yet overburdened by puberty and hating their parents. Speaker3: [00:17:03] Well, my child is never going to hate her parents, Speaker2: [00:17:06] But your child might. I don't know. Speaker1: [00:17:08] We'll see. I hope you're right. I'm just saying the odds are against it. Ok? I mean, not hate forever and ever, but have a have a phase of resentment and fighting back and trying to, you know, they're trying to establish their own lives. Speaker3: [00:17:22] I'm going with Margaret Mead version of adolescence, and that is, they don't they don't necessarily have to go through several years of angst and rebellion and ennui. Speaker2: [00:17:34] All right. Knock on wood. Ok? Speaker3: [00:17:36] Anyhow, so I think those are my two. I think those are my two main resolutions. I could. I mean, I probably could come up with more. Ok, I'm going to do one final one I just came up with with right now. Go for it. More dessert, more dessert. Speaker1: [00:17:51] Spending more time in the dessert? Speaker2: [00:17:52] Yeah, OK. Speaker3: [00:17:54] Why would I? We like the dessert and I haven't been. I haven't been in a while Speaker2: [00:17:59] In the dessert. All right. Speaker3: [00:18:01] I don't really like the swamp that much. I don't know if you knew that. It's not really. I'm not a swamp lifer. Speaker2: [00:18:05] I'm not a swamp. Speaker3: [00:18:06] I like the dessert. I like the mountains. Like the desert. I like the beach. Speaker2: [00:18:10] Pretty well. All right. Speaker1: [00:18:11] I'm willing to go in with you on those two. Also, because, yes, spending more time with the child sounds awesome. Spending more time with the child in the desert. Even better, unbeatable, unbeatable Speaker2: [00:18:21] Combo doing yoga, doing yoga with children in the desert Speaker1: [00:18:25] That is 20 19 for us. All right, so let's take a brief break. I'll play a little music and be back at two in a second with our discussion of rare exports. And we are back. Ok. Hello, Simone, how are you still with me? Speaker3: [00:18:59] Yeah, I'm still with you. And we got to screen this very cool movie, which has a strange title. It's called rare exports, which could Speaker2: [00:19:09] Be colon, colon, a Speaker1: [00:19:11] Christmas Speaker2: [00:19:11] Tale. Speaker3: [00:19:12] A Christmas tale. Right? Yeah, yeah. So it's really oddball. And actually, you don't quite figure out until the very end or you don't know until the very end what the exports are. But I'm not going to spoil it yet. But we should actually Speaker2: [00:19:23] Say this Speaker3: [00:19:25] When we're talking about the film, you're going to get a lot of the narrative details. So this is like basically a Speaker2: [00:19:30] Spoiler spoil you Speaker1: [00:19:31] Like a bunch of old milk like cheese, like some curdled stinky cheese, that many spoilers. So but here's here's here's what we can tell you. Also, though, if you're in the U.S., you can watch this film on Hulu. You can watch this film on Amazon Prime, and it's available on iTunes, so Speaker3: [00:19:49] It's sure it was it. Seventy seven minutes. Speaker1: [00:19:51] It's it's short. It's it's under. It's under 90. It may even be under 80. Ok, so it's a short movie. It is entertaining, so you could watch it. Speaker3: [00:20:00] It's actually beautifully shot. The cinematography is nice. Speaker2: [00:20:04] Well done. It's high quality. Speaker1: [00:20:05] It's really it looks good for a movie that probably had a fairly low budget. Yeah. So you could go and watch it now if you want, just take a pause and watch it, and then we're just going to go right ahead into our discussion of it too. Simone, do you want to do plot or do you want to pick a theme? Speaker3: [00:20:19] Kind of. I think maybe we could begin with some of the plot and take it from there. Ok? Speaker1: [00:20:23] Does that sound you want to? You want to take us through the plot? Yeah. Speaker2: [00:20:26] Ok, go for it. Ok, well, Speaker3: [00:20:28] We begin in this site where everyone is speaking English and they're Americans, and you're like, Oh, it's a finished movie, but it's going to be an English. That's strange. That's not how it unfolds. But we find out that there's this group of American prospectors, I guess we could call them, but you're not quite sure what they're doing. But there's been a discovery on the top of this mountain near the Finnish Russian border, right over. Maybe it's over on the Russian side, even it's right there on the border. Speaker1: [00:20:54] The border comes up a couple of times. Yeah. Now there's a mysterious cane guy. Speaker2: [00:20:57] No, I'm getting Are you getting Tim? Ok? Speaker3: [00:20:59] Ok, so we begin like one of the first cut of black screens that we get is a sort of black and red, ominous looking block like advent calendar that says Twenty four days till Christmas, right? We begin with that. So we're beginning with the advent calendar motif. And so, you know, there's going to be a countdown. And so there's a guy in a top hat with a cane who looks devilish for sure and almost has a kind of cartoonish face. And one of his workmen is reporting to him that they found these wood shavings sawdust that that sixty five feet thick down. And they've been coring into this mountaintop, right? And they've run into the sawdust. And at first they thought, Oh, it was just this tree that they're boring through. But in fact, they found that the sawdust is sixty five feet thick and the the kind of creepy looking at suspect guy looks a little thrilled by this. And he says yes, back in the olden days, that's what they used to do. That's what they used to use to store ice was they would insulate it and sawdust, thereby keeping it cool, which I've actually heard of. So it's kind of a there's like a little tiny climate moment there. That's a little climatological moment where the sawdust is sort of preserving the ice that's down deep down in this mountain. Going to Speaker2: [00:22:13] Go on. Speaker1: [00:22:14] Ok, so this and really like the first half of the movie is pretty good in terms of setting up a mystery and tension like, you know, well. Tell us a bit more so you can. Speaker3: [00:22:24] Well, the other I mean, there's a kind of very artful moment, you know, a few minutes into the film where the suspicious man who I don't know if we ever get his Mr. Green, I think his name is, yeah, I think that's right, Mr. Green. He's standing on this mountaintop and he's kind of lecturing to to the workmen. And he there's this spectacular backdrop of mountainous horizons behind him, and it sort of lit by the dusk or the dawn, and these beautiful like white Matterhorn peaks behind him, and it looks like he's standing on the edge of the world. Kind of, and it's really spectacular lighting. It's almost like Disney, but I think it's like, I think it's a reference to some German romantic landscape painting or something like, Yeah, I don't know what the piece of art is that it's referencing, but I'm pretty sure it's referencing a particular piece of art from like the Alps or something, right? And so that's spectacular. And what you find out are there's these two little kids who are spying on this whole scene and Pieta Pieta is the main kid. He's a slightly younger, and then he's got this older friend who's about 13 or 14 named juicio. Speaker2: [00:23:33] Yeah, that's right. Speaker3: [00:23:33] He's kind of obnoxious, but his importance. So they're buddies and they're spying on this whole thing and only do so understands the English that this guy is speaking and he's kind of translating for a piety. And he says, Oh, he's calling this mountain a burial mound. He's saying that it's a sacred site, that there's something down in the mountain. That they're trying to extract. And do you want to add to that? Speaker1: [00:23:59] Well, I mean, only only to say that. Speaker2: [00:24:01] No, go ahead. Ok, well, Speaker3: [00:24:03] Then somehow they're talking about this, this this time. How do they find out? Somehow, piety realizes that Santa Claus is dead. Speaker1: [00:24:13] This is what I wanted to say is that Speaker2: [00:24:15] Somehow that happened here to read Speaker1: [00:24:16] Like somehow knows everything that's about to happen in the movie. Like, I mean, it's he becomes all knowing very quickly. And it's one of the weird things about the movie. He seems to know exactly what's happening and no one else does or will believe him. But how exactly he knows what's happening is unclear to me. Speaker2: [00:24:35] He's reading Speaker1: [00:24:35] Some books. There's like a there's like a cut scene over the credits that shows him reading a bunch of books about the true origins of Santa. Speaker3: [00:24:42] And that's really Speaker2: [00:24:43] Scary. Yeah. Speaker1: [00:24:43] That was. Speaker3: [00:24:44] He gets this huge stack of books. Yeah. And it's almost kind of like a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory sort of scene. Like he lives up in this little attic and there's all these crazy books that are bound in leather, and he finds all these old books that he's reading through, and he sees Santa Claus as this kind of skinny, you know, sort of horrible skeletal man who's like dunking children into boiling pots of water. And in another one, he's a kind of like a giant demon who's like 60 feet tall and he's got these demon horns. And so it's like instead of being Saint Nick, it's like he is Lucifer. Yeah, exactly. Santa Claus is sort of he's like a demon or a devil figure, right? And all these stories in these books, and they're kind of more scholarly books that Pietro is reading. And so he realizes that Santa Claus is dead, and somehow he realizes that that's what they're doing is that they're excavating. That's frozen Santa Claus. Exactly the frozen Santa from inside the mountain, which is a pretty cool premise. Speaker2: [00:25:45] Yes, that's definitely weird. That's what that's really what Speaker1: [00:25:49] That's what sold me on the movie is this idea that Santa Claus has been buried under this mountain, and he's kind of like an evil Earth being of some kind or evil spirit. And I thought that was a nice twist, Speaker3: [00:25:59] But I don't think he was an Earth being Speaker1: [00:26:01] No. Well, I'm just saying when I was reading the reviews and descriptions of it, I thought it was more of like an Earth being type thing. But you're right, it doesn't. Although he is, he is a sizeable creature as we will get to the actual appearance of Santa Claus. Speaker3: [00:26:14] So now I'm remembering, too. Ok, so the boys have been spying on this scene, and yet somehow they figures it out, but also do so start slapping them around. Remember when they come off the mountain and because it's almost it's going to be Christmas. And Peter says, like, Oh, I can't wait for Santa Claus to come and do so says, like, you idiot kid, you're such a baby. Don't you realize that Santa Claus is dead? And then Pietro says, Oh, but this guy always comes to my house. Every every Christmas, Santa Claus comes and visits the house. And Jesus says, Oh, your dad just pays him to do that. Speaker2: [00:26:46] It's a Speaker3: [00:26:46] Trick. Yeah. So the so the moment here is that, yes, they're digging something out of the mountain. And Impiazzi has been slapped across the face with the news that Santa Claus is just a fiction and that, you know, the Grown-Ups have been lying to him and to all the other children forever. He figures out the truth about Santa Claus, and that's how he starts on his rabbit hole of reading all about and finding out about the Santa Claus, who he finds out as sort of a demon. So then his dad, OK, we have. Speaker1: [00:27:15] But it's never clear why this guy, the guy with the cane, Mr. Green or whatever. No, it's never clear what why he wants to excavate Santa Claus. Speaker2: [00:27:22] We find out later. Well, maybe we do. Speaker1: [00:27:24] I don't remember that. I thought. I thought we did not find out. Speaker2: [00:27:27] It's not explicit, but Speaker1: [00:27:29] It seems like a curious thing. But of course, you know, movie evil guys, they've got their own magic. Speaker3: [00:27:34] So we need to point out that piety lives with only his father, and they live in a really, really remote part of Finland, like there's no one else around. Really, it's a village, I guess, but it seems like it's miles to the next house. Yeah, and they live in pretty humble conditions. And the father is a pig butcher. I guess he grows the pigs, but he butchers them. And so he has this kind of barn or warehouse where piety hates to come into because it's just where he's chopping Speaker2: [00:28:02] Up, chopping up. Speaker3: [00:28:02] And it's quite bloody and horrible when you see inside the this kind of slaughterhouse Speaker1: [00:28:08] And it's a horror movie, you know, like if you see a slaughterhouse in the first act, you know, that's coming back again. Speaker3: [00:28:12] Exactly. Yeah. So the other thing that the dad is doing early on in the movie is he's out there digging this giant hole with this little caterpillar thing, making what I call a tiger trap. That's what they call it in Southeast Asia, which is a pit. Or this would they? I think they use these in Vietnam as well in the war. But you make a big pit and then you have sharpened branches that you stick down into bore into the ground and then whoever accidentally falls into it gets speared. Yeah, yeah, kind of bayonet it or whatever. So for some reason, and it's odd, the father is making this tiger trap, which they later call a wolf trap. Yes. And he hangs a pig head, the severed pig head over the trap, covers it up with brush and snow so that I guess he's trying to catch a wolf. And there is a lot of fear around wolves here, like he keeps telling the Sun, You know, don't stay outside too long. The wolves will get you. And so you're kind of waiting for this wolf to come. The wolf never Speaker2: [00:29:13] Comes. Speaker1: [00:29:13] No, there's no wolves in this movie. Speaker2: [00:29:15] Yeah, surprisingly. Well, let me show. Ok, so Speaker1: [00:29:18] So while you're saying that, I mean, you say that there's no mom, there's actually no women in this entire movie. Not, there's not a single not eaten out in the background. Not a minor character. As far as I could tell, there are, you know, of the dozens of actors in this movie, they're all men. So that's a little bit weird to begin with. Speaker3: [00:29:32] And as Dominic pointed out several times after screening the film, there's a lot of like old white men's flaccid penis. Speaker2: [00:29:40] Oh yes, you be forewarned. Yeah. Trigger warning. I mean, Old Man's flaccid penises see him from a distance. Speaker3: [00:29:48] It's pretty much from a distance. Speaker2: [00:29:50] It's a distance. Yeah. Speaker3: [00:29:51] But yeah, there's a lot of like dangling dong action. It's surprisingly for a Santa Claus horror movie. There's a lot of penises. Speaker2: [00:30:00] That's what that comes later. Speaker1: [00:30:01] My last note, my last note on my notes is no ladies, but all the old penises would ever want to see. So that might be it, folks. If that's like your thing, then you're definitely going to love this movie. But if it's not, you know, just be forewarned. But it's only one scene. Speaker3: [00:30:18] Well, you're right. Ok, yeah, there's OK. Speaker1: [00:30:20] So but I was going to actually ask you about like what you thought of the relationship between the dad and the son because it seemed to me to be uneven. Yeah, uneven and a little chilly. Like sometimes the dad kind of seems like a dick. And then sometimes he seems caring, but not exactly. Speaker3: [00:30:37] And yeah, I think the characterization they didn't quite work out as well as they could of like the dad clearly wants Pietro to be to grow into a strong man and be able to survive in these harsh conditions and to be tough in a way because at the very end, he says, like, you've become a great man or you've proved yourself a man, remember you're a good man. And then he says to his own dad, like, you're a good man, too. So there's something about manhood that's important here, but that doesn't really get spelled out. So it just seems kind of uneven, like sometimes the dad is like overly harsh with him, and then sometimes he's kind of loving and thoughtful like a good Scandinavian father would be. So it's a little mixed. Speaker2: [00:31:16] But once we fast forward to the first scary thing that well, Speaker3: [00:31:18] But I want to point out a note here, and that is, is that one thing that gets mentioned and I think this is one of the dads friends is that so there's some conversation about why there would be a Santa Clause, like why Santa Claus would be trapped in the ice? Yes. And someone says that the Saami indigenous people of the region have lured Santa Claus into the ice in order to trap him because he was such a, Speaker2: [00:31:46] Well, a long time Speaker3: [00:31:46] Troublemaker. A long time ago? Yeah, no. This is like ancient like ancient mythos, right? Is that it goes by. The origin story has to do with indigenous people. And what's now Finland luring this demon Santa Claus into the ice. So I thought that was an important note, too. Yes, and they're trapping him in there so that he can't do his bad deeds anymore. Speaker1: [00:32:07] He fell into a lake, froze over to trick him to fall into the lake. Speaker2: [00:32:11] I think they tricked him. Speaker3: [00:32:12] They tricked him because he was he was a bad news. Speaker1: [00:32:14] Basically, they tricked him into falling into a lake, freezing into a block of ice, and then they buried that block of ice on Speaker2: [00:32:21] Lots of stone. So that's what the song didn't like. Speaker1: [00:32:23] The mountain is substantial, like, it's not a small mountain, it's a big old mountain. So yes, that's what happened. Speaker3: [00:32:29] There's a little artistic license, but I guess it was, you know, in their imaginaries, like twenty thousand years ago or something like that. Sure. I mean, the other thing that was striking, and I don't know if I can make this comparison is that this evil Santa Claus and his elves who come later reminded me a bit of the sort of wicked elves of Icelandic Christmas as well. Which are all mischief makers and troublemakers and steal things and hurt you and break shit like they're troublesome. They're not exactly Santa Claus, but they're these little Christmas gremlins, right? Where they sometimes Icelanders sometimes describe them as the the little in many Santa Clauses. So there's some kind of I don't know if there's some kind of relationship there to these evil Santa Clauses, but so the next scary scene is when the father and his two bro names like the dudes that he hunts with, who's pretty cool, like one of them's got these great. He's got, like kind of a great Hunter S. Thompson look going where he's always wearing those sunglasses. Yeah, they go out and they're going, they're trying to find reindeer because I get the feeling that that's how they make their living. Like they're up there in this remote part of Finland to harvest or to kill, to hunt reindeer. And they're waiting for the reindeer. And that's why they want to kill the wolves, because they don't want the wolves to get them. And then they kind of come over to come across this cover on the bench. And there's two reindeer running towards them, and they're like, Yay, merry Christmas, the reindeer are back, we're going to be OK. We're going to survive. And then they see that an entire herd of reindeer have been slaughtered and really brutally slaughtered, like they're really torn apart and destroyed. And it's kind of brutal, almost something like something Alien had done it, and they blame it on the Russian wool. Speaker1: [00:34:19] Of course, the Russians, right? Speaker3: [00:34:20] For sure. They say it's the Russian wolves, like only the Russian wolves would have done that. So there's all these dead reindeer. Then we get, then we get back to the wolf, then we get back to the wolf trap, right? They're really pissed. The men are really pissed because the feeling is, is that they don't explain this. I guess if you're finished, you understand it. My feeling was that they take out some loans or something to be able to hold themselves over until they kill the reindeer. And then they trade in the meat and they get some money back. But they're somehow going to be really fucked financially if they. Speaker1: [00:34:49] This is like their big windfall of the year. Yeah, it's not coming through. All right. And so, you know, the whole. But see, that really sets the tone. And again, like like legitimately the first half or so of the movie, I think is kind of tense and a little bit scary because you know what killed the reindeer and it's Speaker2: [00:35:05] Spooky Speaker3: [00:35:06] And they're they're suspicious about what the men are suspicious about, what's going on on the mountain because there are like they said that they're like, you know, sort of looking for samples or something, taking core samples and they see all these explosions and everything. There's a lot of activity up there. But now there's becoming more suspicious that something more nefarious is going on right? Speaker1: [00:35:25] Right? So they decide then to go up to the top to figure out what's going on or to really basically they're like, we're going to like present a bill to these guys mining at the top of the mountain for our destroyed reindeer because their ideas they've upset the wolves and the wolves have then gone and run around and killed Speaker3: [00:35:44] All them and massacred the Speaker1: [00:35:45] Reindeer. Or they've let the Russian wolves across the border somehow, so they haul up to the top and it takes them the rest of the day. And it's nighttime. By the time they get up there and they discover the huge pit, huge top, which is pretty spooky. Speaker2: [00:35:58] Two huge, Speaker3: [00:35:59] Gigantic pit like bottomless. You can't even see the bottom, and he throws like a lighted a light stick or whatever a fuse might stick in there. And I was like, Dude, I don't think I just throw shit like Speaker2: [00:36:09] That in a pit. Yeah, he knows what's down there. No, exactly. Load back on you. That's right. Speaker3: [00:36:13] Anyway, you can't see the bottom of the pit, so they clearly like board out the whole Speaker2: [00:36:18] The whole guts. Speaker1: [00:36:19] But no one's around like, there's no one's gone, it's gone. So that's going to spooky. It's kind of like the thing or something like that. It's like abandoned Arctic Station. And but they do find this like image some kind of an ultrasound images so sound like an ultrasound image of the side of the mountain. And inside of it, there's this big lump that immediately again, Zaatari is like, Oh, that Santa Claus. Like, I don't. I didn't see. I didn't see it. I didn't. I was like, I don't look like Santa Claus to me, Speaker2: [00:36:46] But then again, I'm Speaker3: [00:36:47] Looking for it. But then again, like, you know, those nurses who do the ultrasound can also look at that and be like, Look, it's a boy. I see the penis like, you Speaker2: [00:36:55] Know, Speaker1: [00:36:55] You and your penis. That's not talking about them. But I understand the movie was very Speaker2: [00:36:59] It was was very penis forward. It was penis Ford. Yeah, so so Speaker3: [00:37:04] Then I think the next big thing is that we get back to this wolf trap back down at the homestead. Speaker1: [00:37:09] Well, it's the overnight there, and it's very tense because the data is clearly, like, really sad and shaken by this. And we also is that where he sees that there have been footsteps on the roof like could sees that like somebody has been running around the roof at night? Speaker2: [00:37:27] Ok, that's right. So I did. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Speaker1: [00:37:30] And then, yes, the wolf trap is sprung. Speaker3: [00:37:33] The wolf trap is sprung. Ok, so Pierre Tardy has been sitting around like he's read all the books already, and he has himself like perched up, I think, on a stack of books pointing out his little window in the attic, and he's fully geared up now in this ridiculous outfit. That's really cute where he's wearing, like, sort of like hockey, I guess hockey protective gear. But it's all stripped down and kind of bare bones, and he's wearing a funny little helmet and these shoulder pads, and then he's got like a cardboard and duct tape like little butt pad that he's put on, but he's fully outfitted in protective gear. But it's all DIY. It's very cute. He's a very cute kid, too. Yeah, definitely. So anyway, so he's vigilant looking out the window because he's he knows that this creepy Santa Claus is running around and that someone's been spying in the windows and he's really freaked out about it. So then there's been it's clear that, oh, Teddy is outside, and he sees that the the pig head has been gone. It's been taken from the wolf trap. And he tells his dad, dad, dad, dad, ECAC. Let's finish for Daddy Day. Speaker2: [00:38:41] There you go. Speaker1: [00:38:42] Don't say you never finish on this podcast Speaker2: [00:38:44] Because, well, little by little is it Speaker3: [00:38:46] Easy? It's easy. I thought it was easy. And so he's like, Oh my God, the pig heads gone. Dad goes out there, sees. That the wolf trap has been sprung, that all the covering material is gone won't let the kid look down in there, but he looks down himself and all you see that one of the sharp end branches is all bloody. And there are these white feathers kind of stuck to it. And then you see a little bit further. You see just a glimpse of this little of a white, scraggly human hair. Speaker1: [00:39:17] Oh yeah, that was creepy. Speaker3: [00:39:19] And the dad freaks out, pushes the kid away. Dad goes back and finds out that it is this human person. And you see when he gets the human person out of the pit that his hands and his feet are covered in black. They're all black like they've been frostbitten because that's what happens. You get frostbite, you turn black, your flesh turns around. Speaker1: [00:39:38] This time, one of the dad's friends, his reindeer hunting friend, shows Speaker2: [00:39:42] Up and he's a Speaker3: [00:39:42] Hunter Thompson guy with the sunglasses Speaker1: [00:39:44] And he's like dressed as Santa because it's Christmas at this point. Speaker3: [00:39:47] Yeah, and this is the guy who usually dresses up the Santa. Speaker1: [00:39:50] Yeah, and so he's coming by and he says, No, I need your help. And they they haul the body out of the pit and they take it into the slaughter room. And you know, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? And he looks over at his, at his, had his sore right, his, you know, dismembering. Speaker3: [00:40:07] So he's about to dismember them, right? Speaker1: [00:40:09] When it turns out this guy isn't dead. Speaker3: [00:40:12] This guy is still alive. And it also but the reason they're going to cut him up into little pieces is not just to be nasty, but because his friend reminds him, he's like, These wolf pits are illegal. Yeah, right? So he's sort of accident. He killed someone in his wolf pit, and now he's going to have to pay the price. So that's that's why they're like, Uh oh, we better chop up the body, try to chop up the body and the body starts twitching. They also find an American passport on him, right? And see, you know, whatever Jonathan Jones or something like that and like, Oh, poor guy, he's only 60 years old, though he looks like he's about one hundred. Speaker2: [00:40:45] That's right, exactly. Speaker3: [00:40:46] He's only 60 years old. And oh, how terrible an accident. He's died in this wolf pet. But anyway, they try to cut him up and find out he's still alive, and then they start to get kind of pissed. They're like this tough old codger, you know he won't die. Speaker1: [00:40:59] Meanwhile, Peter goes, he sneaks out of the house and goes over to investigate the pit. And this is my favorite scene of the whole movie. He goes down in the pit and he finds this really creepy doll. Speaker3: [00:41:09] It's in a burlap Speaker2: [00:41:09] Sack, burlap Speaker1: [00:41:10] Sack. Just really, really weird husk doll that kind of looks like a boy with weird hair on it. But I thought that was like legitimately the scariest part of the movie. Speaker2: [00:41:18] That was creepy, right? You know, Speaker3: [00:41:20] It was a child size doll and but it was like carved out of weird Speaker2: [00:41:25] Like Huston Speaker3: [00:41:27] Or pine pine needles or something. It was very organic and Speaker2: [00:41:31] Very creepy, Speaker1: [00:41:32] Right? Oh no, maybe that wasn't the scariest moment, but it certainly is a pretty scary moment. And then what amazed me is like, he goes, the the kid like, somehow makes a run for it while his dad is trying to figure out with his friend what to do with this guy who's now alive, right? Speaker2: [00:41:49] Can I add something? Yeah. Ok. Speaker3: [00:41:52] The dad and the Hunter Thompson friend are in there trying to figure out what to do with this kind of not dead, but creepy dude, that's now on the slab. And one of the other tropes throughout the film is that they're always eating gingerbread, these gingerbread cookies, and that's kind of all they ever eat or gingerbread cookies. So they're in there with the gingerbread. But the old man is laying there on the slab, and Petey is looking in through the window. And the old man like, you see a close up of his nostrils and he's like, he sniffs. He smells the child, he smells the child outside the window. And then and then the parent, the dad looks up and Teddy runs, but definitely this creepy, this creepy dude is smelling the child, and he also likes the smell of the gingerbread cookies. Speaker2: [00:42:40] That's right. Speaker3: [00:42:41] That's creepy. So then so Teddy runs to the road. He finds a Speaker1: [00:42:45] Cop. Well, that was amazing because like I had up until that moment really thought that they were like a basically alone in this cabin in the middle of nowhere. And then they're like on the road and there's a cop there. And that was like, You know, what's going on here? Like, why is there a cop wandering around here? Then later we figure out there is a village, right? So the cop, you know, Speaker2: [00:43:01] As well, Speaker3: [00:43:02] Because the cop says the cop says to the dad, then chases after party and the cop. And then when the cop stops, who's like a kind of old sort of like the character in Fargo, like kind of a bedraggled, worn down village cop. I was like, Oh shit, what now? Kind of Speaker2: [00:43:19] Thing and Speaker1: [00:43:19] Strange stuff has been happening Speaker2: [00:43:20] Knowledge. Speaker3: [00:43:21] Last night, he said, all the, you know, all the radiators have been stolen from every, every home in town. Everyone's radiators been stolen. And it turns out one of the dad's friends, like his wife's hair dryer, had been stolen, which was kind of random and sort of funny. And the other thing that you find out is that, again, the dad's friend, he's got this whole storehouse of potatoes, and he tells the cop, like, something's been stolen from my warehouse and goes in and all the potatoes are there, but all the burlap sacks are. Speaker2: [00:43:52] On the sex are gone, Speaker3: [00:43:54] Which I don't. Speaker1: [00:43:55] And this is when Peter also discovers that his dad's friend's son, who is you.So, his his best friend, I guess, is not there. And then he goes up to see if you know, Juice is in his bedroom. Yeah. And what does he find? Speaker2: [00:44:09] But a creep? Another another Speaker1: [00:44:12] Creepy doll that's like lying under under the Speaker2: [00:44:14] Covers. Speaker3: [00:44:14] It's almost got some stuff on it that looks sort of like oil or dried blood or something like it's got some kind of liquid. Speaker1: [00:44:20] So the boy has been snatched and replaced in snatch. So that actually that might have been the scariest moment in the movie for me was like the seeing the doll and the juiciest bed. Speaker3: [00:44:30] Meanwhile, back in the pig slaughter room, the old man on the slab has somehow come to life. The dad's friend is like trying to communicate with them, but, you know, assuming that he speaks English and the guy doesn't speak English, yeah, he leans down close. Speaker2: [00:44:46] That was OK. Speaker1: [00:44:47] The humor part of the movie was part of, like his dad's friend trying to talk to the old guy saying things like, How do you like the land of the northern lights? Speaker2: [00:44:56] Are like legitimately funny moments. Speaker3: [00:44:57] Yeah, no. There was so the one guy gets his ear bit off. Pretty much, I think, Speaker2: [00:45:03] Kind of, which he Speaker1: [00:45:04] Takes really Speaker2: [00:45:04] Well, like, that's like my main ear was gone. This whole thing was Speaker1: [00:45:09] Covered in blood, and he's just kind of like, Speaker2: [00:45:11] Shrugs it. Speaker1: [00:45:12] Any strings are a resilient people. Speaker2: [00:45:14] Well, obviously it's part of being a man is just like every once in a while, Speaker1: [00:45:17] Your ear will get bitten off. You just have to deal with it. Walk it off, man. Speaker3: [00:45:21] And then, OK. So this is when after he gets his ear bit off, this guy realizes he says he's not human. And then the other guy says, And this is funny. He's like, he's Speaker2: [00:45:31] A foreigner as a foreigner. That was great. That was really funny. Speaker3: [00:45:35] Then that's some creepy scene right in there, too, because there is this kind of fireplace that's at the inn in the slaughter space and the slaughter warehouse. And this old dude, I mean, he's totally naked, we should say. I don't think we mention that he's totally naked. Speaker1: [00:45:51] You haven't seen his penis Speaker3: [00:45:52] And he's got he's got almost no hair on his head. But what he does have is sort of white and scraggly hair. And then he's got a white and scraggly, very long, yellowed beard that goes all the way down to his stomach, basically, right? So he's got some Santa features, except that he's so skeletal. But then you see him kind of sitting in the fireplace and he's sort of like this demon because he's all hunched up and like sitting on his butt with his knees up to his chest, with his arms wrapped around him. And it's pretty creepy. I don't know. It's it's it's a good shot. It's some creepy stuff. Speaker1: [00:46:26] This is where the movie began to go off the rails for me. Like, I really like. I like that scene a lot, but basically they were like, What are we going to do with this guy? They kind of convinced themselves with Peter's help that he is Santa, that this is a Santa. Speaker3: [00:46:39] They're like, This is the demon Santa Claus D.A. says. He's like, done all the research. He's like, This is the demon Santa who they've Speaker2: [00:46:45] Excavated, right? Speaker1: [00:46:46] And he survived playing on a bunch of steaks. And, you know, so there is a walkie talkie that's in the pocket of the coat that the what they assume is the Santa. This old guy had with him. And so they here. Then across Speaker2: [00:47:01] The walk, he must have Speaker3: [00:47:02] Gotten that the creepy Santa or what? What we think is Santa must have stolen up. Speaker1: [00:47:07] And then they here. And this is again back to the beginning. The mysterious Cain guy is talking to the supervisor. I don't know what they're doing there at some. I guess they've taken. They've taken the frozen Santa to an air base and they're arranging to have a helicopter brought in to lift him off. Again, we don't know why. Speaker3: [00:47:26] Well, because they tell Mr. Green these the three grown up men contact Mr. Green, Mr. Top Hat, Mr. Cain and say, we have Santa Claus for sale, right? Like, we're going to sell you back Santa Claus, and we're going to sell them back to you for eighty five thousand dollars, which is how much they lost off of their reindeer. And plus VAT. Speaker1: [00:47:47] Remember, OK, you're missing just one part, just one part of it. Ok, so first, what they're hearing over the what they're hearing over the walkie talkie is the top hat guy talking to the head of the mining crew, right? And there at this air base. And I don't think we mentioned this beforehand, but the mysterious king guy gave them this. The set of edicts like the here are some rules you have to follow from Iran, which includes like no, no, no cursing, no cavorting. There's this whole list of things they're not supposed to do. They're supposed to be very nice like good children and these guys are just like, think he's crazy. And so as he's on the phone talking with them, they begin swearing and then all heck breaks loose. We don't really see what happens, but something happens. And suddenly the mining crew seems to go radio silent. Right? That's when those three guys who were in the slaughterhouse together with the with what they think is Santa, get on the line with the Taliban guys. We've got Santa. Bring them to you. Speaker2: [00:48:44] And so, Speaker3: [00:48:45] Yeah, we got them. We got Santa for sale, right? They put them in a cage, which they have handy. Speaker1: [00:48:50] They arranged to bring him to the airport. Speaker3: [00:48:53] They stick him. Yeah, they stick him in the the mock Santa Claus robe that the friend would normally wear to pretend to be Santa Claus. This like kind of shabby shawl of Santa Claus. Stick him in a cage, carry him on the back of a truck through the snow and say, We're going to sell you Santa Claus. Then OK, maybe you can fill in the blank here. Speaker1: [00:49:14] Are you saying the plot isn't airtight? Speaker3: [00:49:16] Well, I'm trying to. I'm just I'm trying to figure out what happened here. So there's a moment here where there's been this kind of countdown of the advent calendar and they get to that air place and they see this giant. It's a large, large warehouse and it's got a huge like hangar door on the front and it says kind of, and it says kind of vaguely. Speaker2: [00:49:37] 24 Yeah. Speaker3: [00:49:38] So it's clearly it's clearly a reference to the advent calendar because Atari earlier in the movie, when he was looking to his advent calendar, there was a giant door that had the number twenty four on it, and he had taken a piece of tape and closed it. Yeah. He didn't want to open the door. He didn't want to open the door to the to Santa. So then that's your cue that there's a there's an evil Santa inside, and so they get in and find out that indeed, the dude who they've thought is Santa, the old naked dude who's now dressed up who they're trying to sell is in fact just one of Speaker2: [00:50:13] Just one of Speaker1: [00:50:14] His elves. Right? Yeah. One of his many naked ancient Barbie Speaker2: [00:50:18] White guy elves and the Speaker3: [00:50:19] Real Santa is entombed in this gigantic block of ice inside the warehouse. And the only thing that's sticking out are his gigantic demon horns, his curled like ram horns. Yes, it's very it's very Lucifer, and they're huge. And so then they figure out that, Oh my god, this is just one of the elves. This the Santa. The real evil Santa is still inside the block. And guess what? All the heaters from the village are doing Speaker2: [00:50:48] Melting the ice, Speaker3: [00:50:49] Melting the ice and the stove. So surrounding this giant block of ice in this creepy warehouse, all these heaters, a little electric heaters and all these stoves somehow have been plugged in, and even the hairdryer shows up where they're trying to melt. So the elves are trying to melt the ice to free their demon Santa Speaker2: [00:51:07] God and Speaker1: [00:51:08] All of the children of the village. Because it's not just you. So all the children who've been taken are in burlap sacks surrounding Santas Speaker3: [00:51:17] For tied into these burlap sacks, squirming and screaming and stuff all around. It's pretty creepy. And and and Pietro knew this already because at some point earlier he had gotten on the phone and was trying to call all his friends in the village and they were all missing. So he knew that they were all gone. Speaker1: [00:51:33] And again, it gets it gets kind of absurd from here on out. Like, first of all, this Speaker3: [00:51:38] Was pretty good. Finding out that that giant Santa was in the block Speaker2: [00:51:40] Was pretty Speaker1: [00:51:41] Well. I think they did a good job. You don't ever see Santa, but it's a good kind of representation. And again, this was done on a fairly low budget. So there's no like big, scary CGI Santa here. Speaker3: [00:51:51] No, no. They don't try and do that. But the other thing is, is that they don't like, I didn't know that the creepy dude was one of Santa's elves. I thought that was creepy Santa. Speaker2: [00:52:01] That's right. Speaker3: [00:52:02] So they had me until the very end, until we saw the big block of ice. And then you saw the resemblance to what Pietro had seen in the books. Speaker2: [00:52:09] Yeah, absolutely so. Speaker1: [00:52:11] So that was. But from then on, it gets a little chaotic. So the just the last, I don't know, 20 minutes or so of the movie involve a bunch of elves showing up and surrounding them, driving them, driving. The dad is two buddies and Atari into this hangar where they try to kind of make a defense by throwing all of the heating equipment in front of the door. Speaker3: [00:52:30] And but these elves, there's like a couple hundred of them. They're sort of like zombies in a way. They're all naked and they're carrying things like pitchforks and things. They're pretty creepy and scary, and they've all got these long white beards and they're old and kind of hunkered over and yet still agile. They're pretty Speaker2: [00:52:49] Creepy. Speaker1: [00:52:50] Somehow, Pietro realizes that the elves will follow the children Speaker2: [00:52:55] And Speaker3: [00:52:55] They sniff them, and they're drawn to them. Speaker1: [00:52:57] So, yes. So here we get the one little bit of special effects in the whole movie. One of the guys goes out like misdirects the Santas by throwing some gingerbread at them, which causes them to stop and eat the gingerbread. The elves? Yeah, that's right. And so he gets into the helicopter, which somehow he knows how to fly. He flies over, they fill sac up with all the children, and then they airlift the children out and Speaker2: [00:53:20] Draw Speaker1: [00:53:21] To lure the elves away. And again, like Deus Ex Machina, there's like a huge bunch of explosives in this hacker to somehow and the dad and the other guy like begin drilling holes in the ice and putting dynamite in it. Speaker3: [00:53:34] Because they're going to kill, they're going to kill the frosted sounds. Speaker1: [00:53:37] They're going to blow up Santa. Yeah. And so then I don't know that part. This whole part of the the the special effects were limited. Speaker2: [00:53:44] The whole thing was creepy. Speaker3: [00:53:45] When you saw all those elves running across the white countryside, it was totally, yeah, Speaker1: [00:53:50] It had something going for it. I mean. I don't know. I just felt to me like there was, too at that point, there was just too many things that were like happening for no obvious reason. Speaker3: [00:53:59] Well, OK, so what they're trying to lure, they're luring the elves to this enclosure that we had seen earlier in the movie. The reindeer has an electrified fence. Yeah. And then Peter does this really hero thing where he's like, you know, riding on the sack with all the sacked children who are still in there, they're burlap sacks and he jumps down. He has to open the gate so that the evil elves can get in, and then they're going to enclose them and trap them inside the electrified fence. And so that ends up working. They get all the all the elves have chased the children, and now they get locked in this electrified fence. So they're trapped so they can't go save their Santa God. No Santa gets blown up, but first the men before they blow up and kill the Santa. And then they say something really cheesy. Like, You've always wondered how Santa could be in so many places at once. Speaker2: [00:54:52] Oh, his owl boo. Yeah. Speaker3: [00:54:55] And but they also they cut off the horns, cut off the horns because they're going to sell those four relics somehow, like those are going to be booty that they're going to do. And so then they've trapped all these elves and they are a little bit kind of zombie ish. They don't really speak any language that they can figure out. Speaker1: [00:55:12] But wait. I was just going to say, once the Santa explodes, yeah, the elves are liberated from his dominion. True. And they become just kind of like House of cheaply old men who Speaker3: [00:55:23] Seemed to have no direction or any will of their own right. They're very passive. And so this is where it takes a big turn, which I thought was kind of brilliant in a way. Speaker2: [00:55:33] So they're like old elf Speaker1: [00:55:34] Penis alerts Speaker2: [00:55:35] Coming up Speaker3: [00:55:36] With this. Yeah, this is when you really start to see that. So then they kind of turn and they say, like, Well, if that one Santa was worth the elf was worth eighty five thousand, like, how much would all this these two hundred elves be worth? So then all of a sudden we see them basically running the Santa training camp where they've got the Santa training camp, where the Santas are all dressed up in these very white, you know, like sort of a kind of sheep like soft white gowns and they've got a little Santa cap on and they're sitting in this long row of chairs and they've got these little white stuffed dolls that are that look sort of like little children, and they're learning how to hold the children and how to hand a present to the children. They're basically training these evil. Well, now I guess now liberated elves, but without any form or function to become Santas. Speaker2: [00:56:29] And so which is Speaker1: [00:56:30] Why I've been calling them Santas the whole way Speaker2: [00:56:31] Through. But yeah, they become the future Santas, their future Santas. Speaker3: [00:56:35] And so they have the Santa training camp and they're instructing them like, you know, don't squeeze the Speaker2: [00:56:40] Children, so Speaker3: [00:56:41] Hold them nicely and pack them on. You don't bite the. Yeah, exactly. Speaker2: [00:56:46] Because these kind of feral feral Speaker1: [00:56:48] Elves being turned into Santas. Speaker2: [00:56:49] Yeah. Speaker3: [00:56:50] So where their little hats? And then so this is how they then make their windfall because they basically this is the rare exports. They box up the Santas and send them off all over the planet. And so when they send one to Tanzania, Tanzania, Speaker2: [00:57:06] Right, and that's Speaker3: [00:57:07] Zanzibar, though, you know, here we're shipping this sound and they've got this weird Santa logo. Yeah, and it's called rare exports. Speaker2: [00:57:14] There you go. Speaker1: [00:57:15] Don't. All right. So recapping, do you like it? Speaker3: [00:57:19] I liked it because I thought the premise was interesting and different and nothing that I had ever thought of before. I never thought of it. Kind of a demon Santa. You know, locked like a giant demon Santa with horns locked up in an ice block in a mountain. And so, yeah, I thought the premise was pretty cool. I mean, was it perfect? No. But thankfully, you know, it wasn't too long, like if they tried to make it a two and a half hour movie. Speaker2: [00:57:47] I know it moved pretty briskly, which is good. Yeah, yeah, it is. Speaker1: [00:57:50] No, you won't be bored watching it. It moves pretty quickly. And again, I think the first, like half to two thirds of it actually was like I was pretty much in suspense. It just when it got a little crazy at the end. And it kind of seemed like, I don't know why those explosives are in that barn, you know? But it's also got some, like, Speaker2: [00:58:10] Legitimately funny moment. But it was a mining operation too. Speaker1: [00:58:14] So I guess, yeah, OK. Ok, that makes sense. Yeah, I guess I hadn't thought about that. Ok, I guess the plot is indeed airtight. So folks, you know, recap it's not maybe the Earth being story that I thought it might have been, but it is an entertaining alt Christmas Speaker3: [00:58:29] Movie Christmas movie. Speaker2: [00:58:30] I know it's pretty unique not Speaker3: [00:58:31] To be shown to little kids. I wouldn't say, though, because it's scary. It's a little bit scary around Santa. I think, you know you'd have to be about 11 or 12, at least to watch it, but it's not gory, except for the pig. Speaker2: [00:58:46] No, I mean, Speaker1: [00:58:46] Again, there's not gory and really it's, you know, the kind of horror. Rubio, like what's really works more on suspense than it does on, you know, kind of like trying to gross you out with disgusting things or violent things. Speaker3: [00:58:59] And the one the one guy, the one of the friends of the dad was actually one of the lead characters in this TV show that I watched recently, which was a Finnish TV show, which is about a related topic to a two hour podcast topic, which is the whole premise of that show. It's a Netflix show is that they're building this totally sustainable community like right near the water, and they're going to have they've got this wind park that sustains the community. And then it all sort of devolves into a bunch of stuff. So I think he's a kind of famous, maybe a famous Finnish actor. Well, anyway, the two Finnish works of media that I've seen he's in. Speaker2: [00:59:37] So there you go. Speaker3: [00:59:39] I can't remember the name of it was like windfall or windswept or something like that. It was pretty good, too. It features a strong female lead. Those are the only shows I watch now. Strong female Speaker2: [00:59:48] Lead. Speaker1: [00:59:49] Well, if they were to make a TV series based on this movie, you probably wouldn't want to watch it because there again, no women in this movie, which is just bizarre. Speaker2: [00:59:56] I'm not even a girl, not a girl. Speaker1: [00:59:58] Not not even like, you know, the receptionist at the police station. I mean, no one, there's Speaker3: [01:00:02] A picture of the mother in the kitchen. I think that's about it. Speaker1: [01:00:06] That's about the only appearance. So I don't know whether that's part of the message. Is this about trying to overcome toxic masculinity? I don't know. It seemed I was struggling to think if there is a kind of an environmentalist message in this movie and I don't really think there is, but there definitely is some message about masculinity. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that it's about kind of like being strong man at the end. Speaker2: [01:00:28] Yeah, probably so. Speaker3: [01:00:30] And domesticating Speaker1: [01:00:32] Course beating down Santa Claus and his evil Speaker2: [01:00:35] Minions. Speaker3: [01:00:36] I like to. I like Santa Claus in Spanish as Santa Claus. Speaker1: [01:00:39] Well, listen, it's been quite a year. Twenty eighteen. I guess all that's left is for us to wish you all a very, very happy transition to 2019. Simone, can you make that happen? Do you got a new little fairy dust you want to sprinkle on next year as our resident elf Speaker2: [01:00:56] Holding you, though, Speaker3: [01:00:56] I have a preference for your odd numbered years. Speaker2: [01:01:00] You do. Speaker3: [01:01:01] Yeah, I think they're better than even numbered years. I've always thought that I was born in the year of the nine. Brujo is born in the year of the nine, so I'm kind of looking forward to 19. Speaker1: [01:01:11] Ok, that sounds good. Speaker3: [01:01:13] Good stuff. We're starting with a wonderful young, vibrant female and even feminist House of Representatives. Speaker2: [01:01:20] That's exciting. That is exciting. Speaker3: [01:01:22] They start in January. That's that's setting us off on an exciting new direction. Speaker1: [01:01:27] The only place there are more old white penises are in the congressional Speaker2: [01:01:30] Showers, I think is what you're trying to say at the gym. There's a few less, though Speaker1: [01:01:34] There's a few less this January than Speaker2: [01:01:36] There were in those beards, though. Speaker1: [01:01:38] Probably, probably. Anyway, folks, we will be back with you. Not this Thursday, but a week from Thursday as we complete our holiday break. We are looking forward to more great episodes and conversations in 2019. Thank you for listening. Keep following us on the blog. Keep sending us your feedback. And yeah, anything else? Speaker3: [01:01:57] No, I don't. How do we sign out of our what's the name of our movie review thing? Speaker2: [01:02:01] Soylent Rainbow Rainbow Go Soylent Rainbow Speaker1: [01:02:04] Or just go twenty nineteen. Go twenty Speaker3: [01:02:06] Nineteen.